Mood:
not sureNow Playing: Lady In The Water - M. Night Shaymalan
Topic: Exhausted
So after day 2 (yesterday) I am still feeling much, much better. We went out, Tiger sushi was delicious and rediculously expensive as always, but that's the beauty of mooching off those who buy, or are bought, more than they can eat. Let me tell you, tempura sushi is DERICIOUS! And I love it. So while that's all grand, it's all rather secondary to the story at hand. We are healing. Friendship is quikcly restoring and returning. We are laughing and spending time together and I feel like the closeness that was lost is slowly retuning. But it's funny it feels like we are a rubber band that has been stretched too far, and while it didn't break, it's still intact, it will never reach the taughtness like before. I know this is only partially true. I know We can make it back to where we were, and I know that we will. But right now, it just feels a long way away. We've been close, physically and emotionally, the last few days, we're both just laying everything out, which is what we need to do. And it leaves us feeling, well, a little raw I think, a little vulnerable, but in that respective emotional nudity, we find comfort in eachother's arms. Innocent embraces, guiltless, these have gained a new level of intimacy in lieu of more carnal embraces. I miss it, I long for it, I admit that. And I know he feels the same, but emotionally and psychologically, we are both too damaged for it to be what it needs to be. And it's not fair for me to say "When will you be ready" I'm trying not to pressure him, just as he isn't holding his reluctance over my head. But I still burn for him. I still want him. But until then his closeness is tonic enough. It's like a band-aid in lieu of stitches. While it doesn't heal completely or make things totally right, his closness protects the wound, and protects from further injury. I love him, I want him, and I want to anything he needs to feel better, and I think he knows that.
Posted by mariahblog
at 10:01 AM CST
